I am reaching my limit of tolerance when it comes to mocking people. I continually have pictures of the "The People of Wal-Mart" vein popping up on my FB feed, and it's getting on my last nerve. Do I think it's tasteful to walk around in public with see-through leggings, or with butt cheeks or belly rolls hanging out? Not particularly, no. Do I want to expend the least little bit of energy taking stealth pictures of these people, posting them on Facebook, and then laughing at them? Absolutely not. My little bit of spare time is spent trying to work on myself. There is exercise to be done, home improvement, learning new things, reading, time to spend with my family, traveling, professional development. I can barely squeeze everything in that needs to be done, much less troll Wal-Mart for people wearing ill-fitting clothes. I feel like I am in a constant struggle to try to be the best person I can be, and there is always room for improvement. Every moment I waste judging other people is a moment I am not using for self-improvement.
When did our culture become accepting of ugliness? And by this, I don't mean physical unattractiveness, but rather expressing hate and derision. Perhaps it's always been there, but the rise of social media has forced me to have to bump into mean-spritedness on a daily basis. God forbid you are a few pounds overweight, or, due to poverty and lack of education and nurturing, walk around in clothing most people find unacceptable, or carry extra weight due to being nutrition-starved. And, we love our reality shows, where we can mock people whom we deem to be "white trash".
Listen, people. We have real problems in this world that must be tackled. Climate change, violence around the world, refugees, inequality. I am beginning to fear that we are generally dumbing down as a people. Idiocracy appears to be coming to fruition.
Yes, my panties are in a wad. Yes, I am clutching my pearls. I have to raise my daughter in this world, and I am trying to produce an empathetic, kind-hearted adult. Your hatred says more about you than it does about the objects of your contempt. Anyone who invests time and energy making fun of other people is compensating for feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. High achievers don't have time for this shit.
Rant over.
Friday, July 25, 2014
Monday, July 21, 2014
the family has returned
Have made it through 3/4 of a blog entry of my varied impressions of Las Vegas, after spending almost a week conferencing there, but just haven't been able to wrap it up yet.
After 8 days without my family, I was so thrilled to see them arrive on Saturday. Hubby dropped the kiddo off at overnight camp the previous weekend, and he stayed up in Virginia for a week to be nearby, in case of emergency. Kiddo often finds it difficult to fit in well in social situations such as this, so we thought it important that someone be nearby, in case any problems arose. Thankfully, she had a blast at Triple R Ranch, where I went to summer camp as a kid, and left with new friends.
I spent several days in the backcountry in the Smokies with a buddy, and dragged my body up and down 4300 feet of elevation change. We did the Big Creek/Swallow Fork/Mt Sterling Ridge/Baxter Creek loop, which I cannot recommend enough for a 3 day loop. The first day is an almost flat 6 miles or so up Big Creek, which features multiple swimming holes and lush falls. The second day is a 4000 foot climb to Mt Sterling, and the 3rd day is a steep 4300 descent on Baxter Creek Trail. I discovered that my trip to the Grand Canyon will only be 500 feet more elevation change than this one, and over an additional mile of trail. I had to stop and rest frequently on the second day, but once we set up camp, my leg pain had subsided somewhat, and I topped off the hike by going up and down a 60 foot high fire tower 4 times. The 360 view from the top of Mt Sterling is not to be missed. Every five minutes, the shadows move and the view changes. So, given that I managed to complete this hike without much pain lets me know that I am almost ready to tackle the Grand Canyon. I have until January to keep climbing stairs and lose a few pounds, and, surely, having a small daypack, rather than a 50 pound backpack, will make the hike slightly more comfortable. My shoulders and hips always squawk at the end of a backpack, but my legs are only sore for a day.
Though I have been geographically separated from my husband for several months at a time over the years, this was the longest stretch of time I spent away from my 8 year old. I will freely admit that the first few days were a nice, relaxing break, but shortly after I returned from the Smokies a few days after, I was positively yearning for her exuberance and energy. I found that I could stalk her online, as the camp posted daily pictures, and I flipped through each day's photos trying to catch a glimpse of my daughter. I was thrilled to see her goofing around and mugging for the camera.
This is the third camp she's attended this summer, though the other two were day camps. She asked to attend Christian camps, and this agnostic whipped out her wallet each time. I don't know how most agnostics/atheists (and, by some definitions, I might be considered an atheist) with Christian children react, but I don't have any issue with my daughter exploring faith. Each human being needs to find his or her own path, and we often egotistically try to impose our own belief system on our children. I gave birth to her; I hosted her; I am charged with raising her, but she is her own person and I don't have a say as to whether or not she will be a person of faith. I do feel responsible for helping her find a path that supports basic human rights, so I will guide her to progressive churches, and ethically, I cannot support using my car and gas money to drive her to churches that oppose gay marriage, but if she chooses a fundamentalist path, ultimately, I will still love and respect her agency. We have so many LGBTQ friends that I think she'd have a difficult time taking on homophobia, and she's spunky and independent enough that I have a difficult time imagining her tolerating a misogynistic lifestyle. Every night, she silently prays to God before she goes to sleep and blows him a kiss. To be honest, since she's taken on faith, she seems more content with her life and less tormented by her ADHD. I don't know if this stage will last- I went through a Christian phase and ultimately moved away from it, but there is something oddly endearing about seeing my daughter pray. I don't have the "God" gene- I just can't go there. But, if it turns out that she does, and that faith brings her comfort, I will be happy for her.
I suspect that most of my agnostic/atheist friends would react much as I do to having Christian children- or, at least, manage to move past their disappointment. However, I cannot see fundamentalist Christians being able to accept their children becoming atheists. Since I don't believe in Hell, I am not worried about my child ending up there. A fundamentalist is going to worry profusely that their child will end up burning for all eternity. But, I do think that many parents across the political and religious spectrum share a common desire to produce small carbon copies of themselves. Our role is to guide our children into the world as responsible citizens, but we do not own them. They need to find themselves, and we must accept and celebrate the people they become, barring, of course, that they become hateful or sociopathic or violent criminals or drug addicts. I don't wish for my daughter to become anything other than the best person she is intended to be. I do wish this was something I could share with her. I would love to be able to pray WITH her, but I must be authentic and be the person I am intended to be. There are so many other things we share- this is something she gets to have that is all her own.
After 8 days without my family, I was so thrilled to see them arrive on Saturday. Hubby dropped the kiddo off at overnight camp the previous weekend, and he stayed up in Virginia for a week to be nearby, in case of emergency. Kiddo often finds it difficult to fit in well in social situations such as this, so we thought it important that someone be nearby, in case any problems arose. Thankfully, she had a blast at Triple R Ranch, where I went to summer camp as a kid, and left with new friends.
I spent several days in the backcountry in the Smokies with a buddy, and dragged my body up and down 4300 feet of elevation change. We did the Big Creek/Swallow Fork/Mt Sterling Ridge/Baxter Creek loop, which I cannot recommend enough for a 3 day loop. The first day is an almost flat 6 miles or so up Big Creek, which features multiple swimming holes and lush falls. The second day is a 4000 foot climb to Mt Sterling, and the 3rd day is a steep 4300 descent on Baxter Creek Trail. I discovered that my trip to the Grand Canyon will only be 500 feet more elevation change than this one, and over an additional mile of trail. I had to stop and rest frequently on the second day, but once we set up camp, my leg pain had subsided somewhat, and I topped off the hike by going up and down a 60 foot high fire tower 4 times. The 360 view from the top of Mt Sterling is not to be missed. Every five minutes, the shadows move and the view changes. So, given that I managed to complete this hike without much pain lets me know that I am almost ready to tackle the Grand Canyon. I have until January to keep climbing stairs and lose a few pounds, and, surely, having a small daypack, rather than a 50 pound backpack, will make the hike slightly more comfortable. My shoulders and hips always squawk at the end of a backpack, but my legs are only sore for a day.
Though I have been geographically separated from my husband for several months at a time over the years, this was the longest stretch of time I spent away from my 8 year old. I will freely admit that the first few days were a nice, relaxing break, but shortly after I returned from the Smokies a few days after, I was positively yearning for her exuberance and energy. I found that I could stalk her online, as the camp posted daily pictures, and I flipped through each day's photos trying to catch a glimpse of my daughter. I was thrilled to see her goofing around and mugging for the camera.
This is the third camp she's attended this summer, though the other two were day camps. She asked to attend Christian camps, and this agnostic whipped out her wallet each time. I don't know how most agnostics/atheists (and, by some definitions, I might be considered an atheist) with Christian children react, but I don't have any issue with my daughter exploring faith. Each human being needs to find his or her own path, and we often egotistically try to impose our own belief system on our children. I gave birth to her; I hosted her; I am charged with raising her, but she is her own person and I don't have a say as to whether or not she will be a person of faith. I do feel responsible for helping her find a path that supports basic human rights, so I will guide her to progressive churches, and ethically, I cannot support using my car and gas money to drive her to churches that oppose gay marriage, but if she chooses a fundamentalist path, ultimately, I will still love and respect her agency. We have so many LGBTQ friends that I think she'd have a difficult time taking on homophobia, and she's spunky and independent enough that I have a difficult time imagining her tolerating a misogynistic lifestyle. Every night, she silently prays to God before she goes to sleep and blows him a kiss. To be honest, since she's taken on faith, she seems more content with her life and less tormented by her ADHD. I don't know if this stage will last- I went through a Christian phase and ultimately moved away from it, but there is something oddly endearing about seeing my daughter pray. I don't have the "God" gene- I just can't go there. But, if it turns out that she does, and that faith brings her comfort, I will be happy for her.
I suspect that most of my agnostic/atheist friends would react much as I do to having Christian children- or, at least, manage to move past their disappointment. However, I cannot see fundamentalist Christians being able to accept their children becoming atheists. Since I don't believe in Hell, I am not worried about my child ending up there. A fundamentalist is going to worry profusely that their child will end up burning for all eternity. But, I do think that many parents across the political and religious spectrum share a common desire to produce small carbon copies of themselves. Our role is to guide our children into the world as responsible citizens, but we do not own them. They need to find themselves, and we must accept and celebrate the people they become, barring, of course, that they become hateful or sociopathic or violent criminals or drug addicts. I don't wish for my daughter to become anything other than the best person she is intended to be. I do wish this was something I could share with her. I would love to be able to pray WITH her, but I must be authentic and be the person I am intended to be. There are so many other things we share- this is something she gets to have that is all her own.
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Consistency, people.
Listen up, fellow progressives. This is important. One thing we do very well is to call out the hypocrisy of the Christian Right. And b...
