In need of Christmas spirits... 90 proof, please.

I swore this year that I would not set foot in any malls or department stores.  I would rather have all of my fingernails ripped from their beds one by one than to spend 10 minutes in a mall during the Christmas season.  I had visions of going off the grid; of eschewing the madness by sending donations in peoples' names to, I don't know, starving orphans? Each year I swear that the Grigg family will take a stand against gross commercialization, and each year, I end up folding like a cheap suit. Our one nod to stepping off the Christmas materialism wagon was to procure some of our daughter's gifts from Craiglist.

But, I found that my lack of planning led me to the mall not once, but twice.  I found myself being knocked into, pushed, and blocked by carts parked in the middle of aisles.  A car pulled in front of me to take a parking place for which I waited patiently.  I have seen rolled eyes, and the rudeness that can only come from stress and desperation.  Even trips to the grocery store are stressful.

Why Americans insist on engaging in high-stress Christmas behavior is beyond me.  We take a time that should be set aside for quality moments with family and friends and create a mountain of work for ourselves, spending hours sending cards to people with whom we often have long stopped interacting, spending hours battling the crowds in the mall, and slaving in the kitchen over baking goodies that many people don't even want. It is no wonder we're all a bit short and cranky.  I can only hope that one day, I'll have the strength to step off the treadmill and let people know, "We love you but we are opting out of the frenzy this year."  But, as long as I have a child at home, I don't foresee doing things that will take away the Christmas magic for her.  She's not yet jaded, nor was I when I was a child.

When I encounter rudeness while out and about, I try my best to not take it personally.  Many of us find Christmas overwhelming, and we don't all have the temperament to handle it gracefully or graciously.  Many people have committed to days on end with relatives who stress them, and are dreading the "You've gotten fat" remarks, the judgment, and the political debates foisted upon them. Many have downright dysfunctional families, and are dreading 3 nights of Uncle Joe's alcoholism, or mother's verbal abuse. Many are financially strapped, and wondering how in the world they will manage to give their children the Christmas they wish they could.  So, the only thing I can do- my only defense is to smile at strangers, wish people happy holidays (and hope they don't feel I am engaging in a War on Christmas), and not allow the crabby disposition of others to influence my own.

One side effect I've noticed with the "Happy Holidays/Merry Christmas" controversy is that folks seem reluctant to greet one another at all, and that makes me just a little bit sad.  I doubt the "War on Christmas" crowd anticipated that people would be so terrified of offending anyone that they just shut down.  A little bit of civility and warmth has been lost in the shuffle. A cashier wished me "Merry Christmas" today, not in the "I dare you to take offense" manner I've encountered recently, but in a friendly manner, and my agnostic self smiled widely and responded, "And a Merry Christmas to you, too." Anyone who takes the time to greet me warmly will get nothing back but gratitude.  I remember what it was like to work in a retail store this time of year, so I go out of my way to treat retail workers with a little extra kindness and empathy.

In any case, if we cannot find our Christmas spirit, for whatever reason, we just need to remember that this time will pass, as it always does, before we know it.  We'll clean out the gift bags and wrapping paper, pack away our ornaments, and go back to life as normal.  And the madness will recede, at least for another 365 days.