Churching by the unchurched?

Last night, my mother brought up the subject of exposing our 8 year old to religion.  I'm sure she meant "expose her to Christian moral values", which is funny, given that she hasn't set foot in a church in years, but I know that many parents, even those who are questioning their own beliefs, feel it's important to provide some basic religious training to their children.

My child is, as of yet, unchurched.  The only time I can recall that she's even walked into one was during a summer camp fair that just happened to be hosted there.  As an agnostic, I don't venture into churches, and am not going to be inauthentic and trot into a church to learn "Christian moral values", when I am not a believer, myself. 

That said, I do believe that it is important to expose my daughter to information about the religions of the world.  Ignorance is NOT bliss, and I want her to make an educated and informed choice as to whether or not she chooses to follow a path of faith.  I will think no less of her if she does decide to become religious, and I have no desire to push my agnosticism on her, just as I do not want anyone trying to indoctrinate her into a religion. 

A 2010 study found that atheists and agnostics actually have more religious knowledge than do evangelical Protestants.  A person with no religious knowledge whatsoever is, in my opinion, more vulnerable to being manipulated into a belief system.  Knowledge is power, and I want my child to have as much knowledge about the world around her as possible.  Knowing what other people believe can provide context as to why they behave the way they do, or support certain political causes.  I attended various and sundry churches up until junior high, and, as a result, can carry on an informed conversation with Evangelical Christians.  Knowledge about the Bible has also provided context in understanding art, music, and literature.  As an English major, I would have struggled more with Milton, Shakespeare, and other writers had I not been familiar with scripture. 

However, I am grappling with how to best convey basic background information to my child.  There are many books around that cover religion at a child's reading level, but many of these books take a stand one way or another.  I am currently looking for religion encylopedias for children, and other books that will provide her with descriptions of the world religions in an unbiased manner.  I am hoping to pick up a few books for Christmas.

I will come out and admit that I do not have the religious gene.  I could write 20 blog entries as to all the inconsistencies I believe exist in the Bible, and discuss the harm I feel religion can cause to human beings.  I am not closed; certainly, circumstances could change in my lifetime, and if the so-called "spirit" moves me, I will not fight it. But, all religions read as myths to me, as models used to explain that which humans are incapable of explaining.  And all the major world religions were constructed at a time when people did not understand what we now do about science.  I struggle to understand how modern day folk can believe that a man literally lived over 900 years, or that the world was created in 7 days, or that God isn't powerful enough to wipe out Satan, or that a man parted the red sea, or that Jesus walked on water. I cannot begin to fathom why modern Christians cherry pick the passages that suit their purposes while ignoring those that do not.  I love and accept my friends who have faith, but I do not understand it. I realize faith can give comfort during difficult times, but I just cannot go there.

My mother is worried that, without a religious background, our daughter will not be exposed to morals and ethics.  And yet, there are so many ways we can teach our children what we consider right from wrong without pointing to one single text.  It can be more challenging to provide reasons for having certain values, of course. I have referred to using the Bible to deliver moral training as similar to using a company policy manual to point out rules and regulations to employees.  "Policy 38b states that you cannot take more than 2 weeks vacation at one time."  "The 8th commandment states "Thou shalt not steal".  I think stealing is wrong as well, but I cannot just point to a verse in a book to support my reasoning. I have to come up with a secular underpinning for my ethics.  But anyone who thinks that atheists and agnostics do not teach their children morals and ethics is sorely mistaken.  And my daughter frequently makes statements that show that she does know right from wrong.  Somehow, we're getting the message across; just without a verse attached. 

Additionally, let's examine a few values the Bible can teach my daughter.  She can learn about the acceptability of stoning non-virgin women on their wedding night, how to keep slaves, and that eating shellfish and having a rounded haircut are strictly forbidden.  If one is to take the Bible as the Word of God, then one must take the entire body of work literally.  I think I'll pass, thanks.

When Sadie has read her encyclopedia, I will ask her if she is interested in attending any services for any particular faith that is of interest, within reason.  In my immediately surrounding metropolitan area, I doubt we have a community for every single world religion. But I am willing to accompany her, and keep my views to myself, unless the church advocates violating what I consider basic human rights or advocates violence or discrimination.  I have my limits.  And, after some initial visits, she is welcome to connect with others at these places, and when she's old enough, I will drop her off there, or allow her to ride with a friend's family.  But, I have to be true to my own values and beliefs, and attending a church regularly when I do not believe would send the wrong message to her, I think.   But she will grow into the person she is meant to be, and if that means she will be a person of faith, then I hope she does so after much study and thought, and not from willful ignorance, or as a result of manipulation.