Would you like a side of hatred with those collards?

While indulging in a little lunchtime thrifting, I struck up a conversation with an elderly couple in the checkout line.  The wife chatted away, as we talked about green bean casserole with french onions, cooking with fatback, and the great deals we found this afternoon.  The couple was very old-school Southern, friendly as could be to me, and I felt that instant affection I feel for anyone who reminds me of my older relatives from Bladen County. They were hospitable like my grandmother, chatty with strangers like my aunts and uncles, and I would not have been surprised if they had invited me to their home to feast on collard greens.  Their kindness made me feel warm and nostalgic for those childhood weekends I spent in Bladenboro, sitting on a sliding bench swing, eating boiled peanuts, and listening to the grownups' folksy chatter.

Then, they checked out.  The cashier was clearly Indian, and spoke English with a heavy Indian accent.  I watched as their demeanor turned on a dime.  Their friendly, open faces turned hard, they scowled, and they did not respond to the cashier's "Have a nice day".  Then, they turned back to me, smiled effusively, and the woman said, "It was nice chatting with you!  I hope you enjoy the rest of your day!"

It was at this moment that I could see how the dichotomy of a family-centered, but Xenophobic culture becomes schizoid and split.  It was at this moment that it finally sunk in how African Americans could consider white Southerners unfriendly and hostile, while I defended how generous my relatives were to me and tell them that they didn't know my family the way I did.  And it was at this moment that I speculated that the more hospitable a culture is to their own, the more hostile and suspicious it is to outsiders.

I have no idea how this couple votes, though I can speculate. I have no idea if this couple identifies as "Tea Party".  But, the exchange made me think about the whole Tea Party phenomenon.

I read an article about a study about Tea Party membership and common demographics.  There was some diversity in income level, though members were generally more affluent than those who identified as Democrats. I was somewhat surprised by this, based on the lack of basic grammar and communication skills I have observed in some of the louder members, and based on the fact that many of the Tea Party members I have met in real life have less education and seemingly less money than the people in my liberal, professional bubble.  But the one characteristic that seemed to be universal was pessimism of the future, and a suspicion of those who are different.

I have spent a good amount of time around people who probably identify as Tea Party supportive, and this bears out in my own experiences.  The conversations I hear seem to focus on what is wrong with America and how we are all going to hell in a handbasket.  Soon after, the topics of illegal aliens and welfare mamas are beaten to death.  And with so many of these folks, I would think that topics like jobs, home ownership, and economics would be more meaningful.  When I see someone who is uninsured and out of work spending their time fussing about Adam and Steve getting married, and exhibiting general cultural pessimism, I wonder why he or she isn't more concerned about finding a job, or pulling him or herself "up by the bootstraps".  Adam and Steve are not going to keep them from hanging on to their homes, whether married or not, and Republicans often claim they are all about economics. I wonder what it feels like to feel bitter and negative most of the time, and to stare into peoples' grocery carts so that they can complain if these people pull out food stamps.

And yet, the topic of corporate welfare never seems to come up.  It's all a general principle for them, the idea that someone is getting a free ride, even if the average American making $50,000 is only parting with 10 cents per day into the food stamp program .  The idea that corporations are getting something for nothing doesn't stick in their craw, even if they, themselves, are poor.  It's that general rejection of "the others" at play.  Every person I know who is a "good, hard-working, Christian" has a few rotten branches on the family tree, but it is easy for them to overlook their own relatives' flaws while focusing on the "brown" people out there who are "trying to get something for nothing".

Another common characteristic of Tea Party members, according to the study, is the acceptance of inequality of opportunity.  I believe most mainstream Americans accept that we have a duty to provide the disadvantaged the opportunities to succeed, but not necessarily to continue to support those who have been given opportunities and frittered them away.  Tea Party members don't seem to think there is anything wrong with a good portion of the population starting out in life with poor nutrition, no parental support, and abject poverty, and the fact that these people, without tutoring, school breakfasts and lunches, and educational opportunities will be extremely unlikely to have a chance to succeed.  Don't let these people fool you.  They know that the "American Dream" is more the exception than the rule, and they seem content with that knowledge.  They will pretend that they believe the poor have an equal shot at success, but they know, like the rest of us, that this idea is ridiculous.  They just don't care.  They know that a child born in the ghetto with a drug-addicted absentee parent, a child who is poorly fed, a child who is not made to attend school, a child who is abused by the parent's lovers who parade in and out of the house, a child whose prevalent daily goal is to not be shot on the street, a child who is likely to be inducted into ganghood, has an extremely low chance at success.  But, hey, that's how the cookie crumbles.  Better them than me and my children.  And, these people are proud to have these values. 

One would think that, with the amount of money spent on guns and other self-defense items, that they would prefer to invest the money up front in helping the poor have a shot at self-improvement.  After all, a child who emerges from the ghetto and attends college is far less likely to rob people at gunpoint. I am ignoring the fact that Tea Party types far overestimate the likelihood of their home being invaded by dark-skinned criminals.  Truth be told, those of us who do not live in the inner city are far more likely to die in a car accident than we are to be gunned down by minorities. But, since they have a disproportionate amount of fear of crazed criminals, one would think that some investment in the future of the disadvantaged would seem like a practical investment. 

I often hear disinterest in supporting the children of irresponsible parents framed as "The kids aren't my problem.  We are just giving the parents a sense of entitlement."  Fine. I will admit that there are irresponsible parents who aren't fit for their role.  But, morally, ethically, as a society, I believe that we have a responsibility to our most vulnerable members; children, the elderly, animals.  These children did not ask to be born into poverty, and for every child that is "left behind", there is a potentially angry as hell adult that will emerge down the line. 

As for this couple, I left with sadness that the hospitality they showed me was a veneer of civilization plastered over a mass of hatred, distrust, and fear.  I don't want their collards, I don't want their folksiness, I don't want their green bean casserole recipe.  If they cannot display the slightest common courtesy to the cashier, who probably makes barely over minimum wage, who probably came to this country and works her ass off to make a better life for herself and her family, then I don't want the friendliness only showed to me because I have white skin and a slight Southern accent.

"Any society, any nation, is judged on the basis of how it treats its weakest members -- the last, the least, the littlest." 
~Cardinal Roger Mahony,