Throwing some girls under the bus in the attempt to place other girls, um, on top of the bus...

So, I am very much into body acceptance. I embrace burlesque, which celebrates females of all sizes, prefer clothing vendors that offer a wide range of sizes, and fight to try to avoid dumping all kinds of yucky body image baggage on my 7 year old daughter. I have "liked" quite a few sites on FB that celebrate "curvy girls", given that I *am* a curvy girl, and constantly make references to my preference for women with a little "meat on their bones." These sites often post comments, such as "Bones are for dogs. I want a curvy girl." Though many of them devote time to raising consciousness on body image issues, in order to make the "thicker" girls feel better, there is a lot of disparaging talk about skinny women.

Though more American women are more likely to curse extra weight than they are to curse too little, I have known skinny girls who long for curves. I have known skinny girls who try to put on a few pounds and just can't. And while it is difficult at times to empathize with a group of girls who are what many consider to be "the ideal", their body image issues are every bit as stressful to them as my constant battle with the bulge is to me. Yes, I should surround myself with images and writings and thoughts that build my self-esteem, but I do not need to bring down others in the process. I cannot support "body positivity" when I berate skinny girls as being "less womanly", say they look like little boys, and slag them off as being unattractive and unsexy.

Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. It's great to work towards health and to feel good about one's appearance, but it should be independent of one's natural body shape. An endomorph has to starve themselves in order to look waif-like, and still may never have the infamous "thigh gap" or a washboard stomach. An ectomorph can gorge on peanut butter shakes, but probably will not fill out a D cup without enhancement. The goal should be to live a healthy life, move around a lot, eat mostly healthy foods, and then just live. Focus on the things that are important. Focus on finding our passions, surrounding ourselves with healthy, centered people, enjoy our work, should we work, and build meaningful bonds with others. When we take up our valuable time and energy with physical perfection, we are taking time away from the things that truly add meaning to our lives. I am focusing on women, because this is a particularly pervasive problem for us, but men have their own body issues and vulnerability. I have tended to find, though, that most men can usually put these body image issues down and go forth and live their lives.

In any case, we need to respect the value of all of us- thin, average, curvy, fat. Our worth is not a function of our size. And while we curvier girls need to embrace our bodies, we do not need to bring others down in order to feel better about ourselves.